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Why Abused Women Stay in Abusive Relationships

Abusive relationships include physical abuse, emotional abuse, psychological abuse, financial abuse, and verbal abuse to name the most common. Most often, women are the victims because they are unable to protect themselves from their partners who are a lot stronger physically.

Think about it: why do women choose to be degraded? Why do women choose to live under the control and manipulation of their respective partners? Why do women choose to be hurt physically if they may get out of abusive relationships anytime they want?

Surely there are certain reasons why women of abuse choose to stay together with their abusive men even if they could opt out of abusive relationships. Here are some reasons why some women tolerate, seemingly even embrace, domestic violence in their relationships.

The reasons may be divided into three categories which are conflicting emotions, pressure, and lastly reliance on the abusive partner. Conflicting emotions include fear, belief that abuse is typical, fear of being an outcast, embarrassment, low self-esteem, and most importantly, love.

Conflicting Emotions:

  • Fear – women might be afraid of leaving their partners because they may be threatened by other people especially by the family of their partners or the partner himself. Abusive relationships offer some semblance of relative security even if women lose much of their personal freedom.
  • Belief that Abusing is Typical – This is common among women who grew up in environments which are unhealthy and where domestic abuse seems to be the norm. Women are exposed to those scenarios; hence, they will feel that such scenarios are normal in any relationship. If those scenarios happened to them, they won’t notice and realize that their relationships with their partners are unhealthy and abusive. The only time they would realize this is when it is already too late.
  • Fear of Being Called an Outcast – This is common in same-sex relationships wherein one threatens her partner to reveal her true identity and thus adversely affect her standing among family, friends, and the community as a whole.
  • Embarrassment – Women feel embarrassed because of their situations. They may be judged by other people especially their friends and families. Others may think that they have done something wrong that’s why their healthy relationship becomes an abusive one. It is also hard for them to tell others that they are being abused by their partners. Due to this, they would rather remain quiet than get out if this situation.
  • Low Self-Esteem – If their partners continuously blame them, put them down, yell at them, and intimidate them, as time goes by women would feel that they are not needed anymore. They will feel like they are worthless. Because of this, they may not be able to achieve their goals in life because their partners constantly remind them that they cannot do anything. In this sense, women would have low self-esteem to continue living. This would probably result in overdependence of women on their partners that effectively hinders them from getting out of abusive relationships.
  • Love – This is the main reason why women can’t leave their partners. Love is very strong that it can conquer everything. After the abuse, women may feel the pain and sorrow day in and day out. They may think for a while that they would leave their partners but sooner or later, because some women are naturally soft-hearted, hearing even a simple apology would make them forgive whatever their partners have done to them. Love is stronger than any other thing, but it also manipulates even the hearts of human beings. And if the heart speaks, nothing and no one can control it.

Pressure:

  • Social/Peer Pressure – This happens if abusive men are popular in certain circles. It is very hard for abused women to complain and tell others that they are being abused. They are afraid that no one would believe what they are saying for people would more readily believe whatever their male partners say partly due to their standing in life.
  • Spiritual Pressure – Sometimes women feel pressured to stay in abusive relationships because of strong religious beliefs. No religion should EVER tolerate anyone being abused. A women’s life, health and safety matters FIRST. Period.

Reliance on the Abusive Partner

  • Financial Dependence – Women may be dependent on their partners when it comes to financial support. It is very hard to get out of abusive relationships especially for those women who are unemployed. They can’t live without money to provide for their basic necessities.
  • Nowhere To Stay and Go – In most cases, the house where the couple lived comes from the compensation of both partners. It is very hard for abused women to think of where else to stay especially when they want to be as far away as possible from their partners.
  • Disability – In a relationship, it is normal if you feel that you are overly attached to your partner. Due to this, you cannot leave him because you feel incomplete and empty if you are away from his side. This is called being physically dependent; your whole being naturally seeks for your partner’s presence subconsciously.

There is nothing wrong with leaving an abusive relationship even if there are many barriers that prevent you from doing so. You should always think of your own welfare rather than being overpowered by your fears and anxiety. Yes, it is very hard. It is painful and sorrowful. It would take a lot of sacrifices. But what will you choose? Either you continue enduring the suffering and humiliation for whatever reason or you finally be free of it all and live a life wherein you achieve your dreams and make sure your dignity stays intact.

Robert Moment is a life coach, speaker and author of several life-transforming books, Domestic Abuse and Domestic Violence Help for Abused Women and Domestic Violence Survivors, Verbal Abuse: How Women Can Successfully Recognize, Respond to and Overcome Verbally Abusive Relationships and Abusive People, and How Do You Find Happiness . Robert specializes in maximizing human potential for happiness , purpose and success. Visit http://www.DomesticAbuseandDomesticViolence.com and sign-up for the FREE Life-Transforming e-courses on Overcoming Domestic Abuse and Verbal Abuse

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