In a relationship, verbal abuse can be as harmful as physical abuse. Verbal abuse is when one person uses specific language that causes psychological and emotional harm to another person. Such abusive language can include: name calling, cursing, stating distrust, yelling, and verbally expressing negative expectations. Verbal abuse is real abuse that can cause serious psychological and emotional trauma to the victim. Such negative effects can include: depression, anxiety, disruption in sleep, low self-esteem, low self-confidence, and the development of such conditions as: eating disorders, alcoholism, and drug addiction.
Victims of verbal abuse are brainwashed to believe everything the abuser tells them which gives the abuser control. People who have survived verbal abuse and left the abuser will often have to undergo a recovery process in order to heal. Life coach and author Robert Moment says, there are 7 keys to finding happiness again after verbal abuse. The good news is that verbal abuse survivors can find happiness again
If you are a survivor of verbal abuse, the following are 7 keys to finding happiness again:
1. It is not Your Fault: It is important understand that it was the verbal abuser who had the problem, not you. Your partner had to be the one to change, not you. The words that you heard were a reflection of your verbal abuser’s weaknesses and dysfunction, not yours. The abuse is often the result of the abuser’s insecurities, fears, low self-esteem, and emotional weaknesses.
2. Rebuild Self-Esteem: After suffering from verbal abuse, many people will have very low self-esteem. There are a number of ways to rebuild your self-esteem. It is essential that you stop the negative self-talk. Through professional counseling and self-help programs, you can learn to replace the self-deprecating thoughts with positive affirmation statements. It is important to do things that make you feel good such as getting a make-over, buying new clothes, enjoying a day at a health spa…etc. Set small goals and reward yourself when you complete a goal. As you accomplish each goal, you will find your self-esteem growing.
3. Rebuild Self-Confidence: Long-term verbal abuse can result in low self-confidence. Begin by completing small tasks and making small changes in your life. As your confidence level grows, you will find that you will be undertaking bigger tasks. Also, make a list of things you like about yourself and accomplishments that make your proud. This can include leaving the abusive relationship. The list can be short and even contain things that you think is minor. Reread this list everyday. Overtime, you will feel your courage and confidence increase. Start new hobbies and projects that make you feel smart, creative, good, and strong.
4. Defeat Self-Criticism: When you criticize yourself, you are continuing the verbal abuse. Catch yourself whenever you are being self-critical and engaging in negative thinking. Replace the negative thoughts with positive thoughts. Work to maintain a positive and optimistic attitude. Engage in positive thinking self-help exercises.
5. Create a Positive Life: Keep negative people out of your life and fill your life with positive and supportive people. Everyday do things that you find relaxing and fun. Stop watching the news and replace it with music, good books, and entertaining movies. Volunteer for a charity. You will feel great and start looking at life in a whole new positive way.
6. Develop a Positive Self-Help Program: To heal the mental and emotional wounds, engage in positive mental exercises and incorporate them in your daily life. There are many self-help books that are designed to help you become positive person and help you see that you have so much to offer in life. This can include keeping a daily thought journal, writing positive things about your life, writing down all of your good qualities, meditation, exercise…etc.
7. Therapy: Getting professional help is very helpful. A counselor specializing in treating survivors of abuse can offer significant help and self-help exercises. As well, there are support groups for abuse survivors that are very helpful.
You can overcome verbal abuse by choosing to live a happy life. By following a recovery plan that includes implementing healing strategies, you will achieve a happy and fulfilled life.
Robert Moment is a life coach, speaker and author of several life-transforming books, Domestic Abuse and Domestic Violence Help for Abused Women and Domestic Violence Survivors, Verbal Abuse: How Women Can Successfully Recognize, Respond to and Overcome Verbally Abusive Relationships and Abusive People, and How Do You Find Happiness . Robert specializes in maximizing human potential for happiness , purpose and success. Visit http://www.DomesticAbuseandDomesticViolence.com and sign-up for the FREE Life-Transforming e-courses on Overcoming Domestic Abuse and Verbal Abuse